1. If you don't have one, purchase a meat thermometer.  I like a digital model - relatively inexpensive and easy to use. (Here's the one I have.)

2. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees (fahrenheit).

3. Acquire a whole chicken, by whatever means you prefer (I do not condone stealing, unless you are a fox. If you are a fox, please email me and tell me how you have internet access.).  Remove it from its packaging, and take out any of the organs that have been tucked into the cavity (usually heart, liver, stomach, and sometimes neck). Discard the organs or feed them to your grateful dog.

4. Rinse the chicken, inside and out, and pat dry with a paper towel.

5. Create a bed for the chicken in your roasting tray by chopping vegetables to a uniform size - large chunks - and scattering them in the pan.  Any combination of vegetables works, really - I like onions the best, and often use just them, but also have added carrots, potatoes, and fennel in various combinations.

6. Place the chicken on the bed of veggies.  Tuck the wing tips under the body of the chicken.

7. Cut a whole head of garlic in half along its round side (so that all of the cloves are cut in half). Cut a lemon into quarters.  Tuck the lemon pieces and garlic head halves into the cavity of the chicken, as well as several sprigs of fresh thyme.

8. Brush the chicken with about half a stick of melted butter (if you're horrified by that amount of butter, feel free to use less).  Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.

9. Insert the probe of your (shiny, new) meat thermometer into the meat of the thigh - make sure it's in the meat proper, not simply in a fold of skin, and not touching the bone.

10. Roast the chicken in the oven until the internal temperature reaches 165 degrees.  This should take around an hour, with reasonable wiggle room, unless your chicken is either sadly tiny or alarmingly large.

11. When it has reached the appropriate internal temperature, take it out and let it rest for a few minutes.  Transfer the chicken to a cutting board and carve.  Serve alongside the delicious veggies that roasted underneath.